Pubes

 

Pubes

by Mick Mykola Dementiuk

short story published in Hair, Synergy Press 1997

The idea of a hairy cunt was the most disgusting thing that Joey could imagine. It was sickening to walk the streets or ride the subways or stand next to the sluts at work and think that under each skirt and dress, inside every pair of jeans and shorts, a matted clump of moist and twisted pubic hairs lay matted to the flesh and cupped in panty cloth in an almost deranged and frantic, spiderweb-like embrace.

Damp...twisted...mangled...sticky...ugh! The thought of hairy cunts made Joey wretch. The thought of any kind of pubic hair brought on waves of nausea and disgust.

So that's why he kept Maggie clean. No pubes in the house. Not for him. Daily he inspected himself, checking around his crotch and underarms, holding a mirror to his balls and his ass. A weekly shave was all it took to keep the insidious pubes from sprouting too readily into their distinctive curly stiffness. The two of them were as hairless as a newborn babe or as their own pre-adolescent brat, Peggy.

But for Joey to go through a day without coming across a pubic hair was like going through a day without pissing or shitting. In real life it is practically impossible not to come across a pube no matter how careful you are. They come with the mail, tucked into grocery bags, skimming on the sides of cool milk cartons, or trapped

between printer's plates and preserved forever on a newspage, twisting there obscenely around the face of a president, the words of a dictator, or the short-skirted legs of an advertising model.

Joey spent a lot of time coming across pubes, and spent just as much time being sick and disgusted. Just as he couldn't stand the idea of imagining the hairy sluts on the streets around him, so too he began to look at his daughter Peggy with greater interest, suspiciousness, anxiety and dread that she was growing up faster and quicker than she seemed to be just a week ago.

“Y'know, she's getting big,” Joey said one morning after Peggy left for school.

Maggie nodded, and continued with her coffee, concentrating on the new hair style of the female anchor on the morning TV news.

“I mean...big enough for...y'know what...” Joey quietly added.

Maggie looked away from the TV. “What?” her eyes narrowing.

Joey cleared his throat. “I suppose you explained to her how much I can't stand...y'know what.”

“You leave her out of your sickness!” Maggie snapped.

Joey sucked up his coffee and swirled the warm liquid in his mouth. Something tingled against his teeth and checks and settled on his tongue.

He gagged and retched the coffee out on the table. What was he retching for? A pube? Oh God, no! He gagged again and leaped to the kitchen sink, desperately washing out his mouth and face in cold water. He spat again. Nothing.

“I'm warning you!” Joey growled, coughing and trying to clear his throat.

Maggie snorted. “For your information, NO!” she said. “She's still too young for...pubic hair...”

Joey dry-heaved and ran out of the room.

“Pubic hair! Pubic hair!” Maggie shouted he him.

In the bathroom Joey gargled with mouthwash, spat out the imaginings of pubic hairs, then lowered his pants and sat down on the toilet. He ran his fingers down his hairless belly to his hairless crotch and shook his hairless dick and dangling hairless scrotum into the bowl.

What the fuck is the point of body hair, anyway? What are we, a bunch of monkeys or something? Hairy to protect us from the elements? If it's so cold that even underwear doesn't help, put on fucking long-johns!

He peed and farted and strained out a poplet of shit, then wiped himself and pulled up his pants. He flushed the toilet, watching the water eddy, gurgle, and be swallowed by the bowl, then raised the toilet seat – that always drives the bitches nuts!

Suddenly Joey jerked back in disgust. A pube! A fucking pube! A tiny fucking pube pasted right there on the bottom of the toilet seat!

He forced himself to his knees and carefully scrutinized the repulsive intruder. Will I never be rid of them? The fucking things are everywhere!

At work the men's room was cluttered with the fucking things – he could just imagine what the ladies' room looked like! The worst ones were from black Henry, almost like a fine black powder of hair. Black Henry and his fucking obsolete black Afro! Like a headful of pubic hairs!

If Henry used the men's room Joey wouldn't go in there after him; he'd shit and piss on the roof if he had to! What the fuck was the fucker doing in there anyway? Pulling out his Afro pubes one by one over the sink?

Joey stormed out of the bathroom and grabbed Maggie by the wrist.

“Get in here!” he screamed, dragging her to the bathroom. He flung her towards the toilet.

“Look!” he shouted. “Look!”

Maggie stared at the toilet, then back at Joey; she saw nothing.

“It's your daughter!” Joey shouted. “Your daughter!”

Maggie looked back at the toilet bowl. She finally spotted the pube on the underside of the raised seat: brown, stuck to some clammy moisture, pasted with ground-in piss and shit. She smirked and bit her lower lip. No, Peggy doesn't have pubic hair, but Billy has all of his.

She turned to Joey. “Wasn't your brother here the other night?”

Billy hesitated, then shouted. “My brother's not a pig!”

“Yeah! I suppose your whole family is as nuts as you and shave their asses every week!” Maggie shouted, pushing past Joey.

“Get back in here!” Joey screamed, grabbing Maggie and shoving her back into the bathroom. He went out and slammed the door behind him.

“Clean it up!”he screamed from the hallway, but his voice became an almost desperate stammer, pleading, beseeching. He pressed himself against the door and begged, “Please clean it...”

Alone in the bathroom Maggie picked up the tiny pube and freed it from the toilet seat. She examined the damp brown hair, then lifted the front of her dress and inserted her hand into her panties, pressing the pube against her fleshy bare pussy lips. Billy! she thought, and sighed – Billy's hairy cock and balls, tapping, pounding, beating, fucking her baby-bare virginal cunt, his pubes itching, scratching, scraping, tearing her smooth-shaved flesh into orgasm after orgasm – Billy!

Billy was the best fuck Maggie ever had, and being shaved by Joey made Billy's hairiness all the more erotic and exotic. She would bury her eyes and nose and mouth into his scummed and pussy-juiced cock, licking...slathering...biting his pubes, nibbling his balls, sucking...fucking his cock orgasm after orgasm.

“Uhh!” Maggie yelped, and shoved her fingers and Billy's pube deeper into her cunt. She shuddered and clutched the sink till the orgasm passed. Billy, Billy, Billy! Billy's pubes were like pornographic photo's viewed by a horny young boy who just wants to leap atop the unattainable images and meld into the filthiness of the illicit posings. But unlike the young boy's dreamy, jerk-off madness, Billy's pubes were readily available to her, atop her, behind her, before her, inside her. I'd better watch it: Joey might begin to wonder why his brother is dropping by so often, leaving pubes all over the place.

Maggie lowered her dress, grinning at the idea of making Billy look for his pube – hot..hot...cold...cold...hot...ooh! getting hotter...boiling!! She grabbed some toilet tissue and wiped the underside of the toilet seat. She sighed. Peggy will start sprouting soon, if she isn't already, and shedding as well.

But Joey better not dare! And if he did she'd get him locked up. He would certainly be certifiable if he tried shaving his own daughter. That would definitely get him out of her hair, and get her more often and thicker into Billy's.

She pushed open the bathroom door.

“Christ! she screamed.

Joey was at the end of the hall, bent over the laundry hamper, scraping at a pair of Peggy's panties.

“Look!” he flared, holding out the small white panties. “Just look!”

“You freak!” Maggie surged at him, her eyes suddenly widening at the etchings of brown pubes in her blonde daughter's panties.

Billy! she thought, Oh God, Billy, no!

His pube burned like a pornographic claw inside her. ***